4am thoughts.

I said true love isn’t about sacrifice. It’s about compromise.
It’s not that I don’t believe in that. I do.
It’s actually something I live and love by.

That’s when you’re in it together and are doing things together to make things work.
Because you want it as much as the other.

But what’s got me thinking is that love IS about sacrifice when it comes to you loving the other person. From one persons perspective that is.

If the love is reciprocated from the other end then there’s a sacrifice there too, and I believe that it only becomes a compromise because the sacrifice from each side cancels out the other and makes it a compromise.

So the equation to love would look something like:
sacrifice + sacrifice = compromise.

Therefore, compromise = love.
(Oh, forgive my math. It’s as bad as my love life.)

I think that when you love someone (from one persons point of view) it’s really all about sacrifice and it isn’t love when you start to tell yourself that you’ve been doing too much for someone who’s not appreciative of it.

I actually feel bad right now, for thinking that about you.

I realised that I sacrificed everything for you because I loved you. And the moment I started to question the returns was the moment I stopped loving you – and the moment I started loving myself. In other words… I became selfish.

Which is why I believe they say that you have to learn to love yourself before you can love someone else. Because the sudden realization that you need to love yourself would not come in the middle of your relationship and ruin it. And all the good things you’ve done would’ve been because you wanted to do it. And when enough is enough, you leave. You don’t get the “opportunity” to push the blame to the other party for “not appreciating”, and accept that it didn’t work out because it wasn’t meant to be. It was both, but no ones fault.

So I think when you love yourself enough to love someone else. It will feel like sacrifice.
And when you find the one who will sacrifice for you… You get compromise. You get love.

Funny how this thought was born from me looking for my soft pillow which I sleep with religiously.
It’s currently residing under the sleeping head of my best friend who is lying next to me.

I cannot sleep without that pillow.
I have 5 on my bed but I need that one.

She didn’t know that so its not that she won’t sacrifice it for me. It’s not that she doesn’t love me.

But we’re looking at it from my point of view now.
I love her.
I can’t bear to see her wake up from her beautiful sleep just so I can satisfy my need.
I think love is sacrifice.
I think love is letting your best friend sleep on your favourite soft pillow.

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