Kicking Buckets

“You destroyed me, and I apologised.”

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I woke up.

I woke up to a beautiful sight.

It was beautiful, but terrifying.

It just took me back to when we were lying here, I kissed you, you got annoyed, I left, you never texted, we ended.

Oh. Fucking. Memories.


I’ve met someone new.
He makes my insides tingle every time I see his name pop up on my phone.
I don’t remember smiling this much.
I don’t remember being this happy.

He’s everything I ever wanted, you know?
Intelligent, fit, tall, attractive and has a beautiful smile…


I’m thankful I didn’t give up. He still makes my insides tingle. He makes me so happy. I’m looking forward to forever with him. 

Semper ad Meliora

This is the danger
of memory:

Gummy bears
The smell of fresh
Blood in my hands
Long eyelashes
Afternoon light
The color blue
People who don’t cheat
Movie trailers
Flashes of happy
Voices that break

They all remind me of you.

This is the confusion
Of remembering:

The smell of his skin
The heat of his thighs
The sadness in his eyes
When I mention your name
By accident

This is the loophole
of forgetting:

Sometimes, when I tell him “I love you too”

I am not sure
If I’m not still

Saying it to you.

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“More than anything else, I just hate falling asleep alone. Maybe it’s the artist in me but nighttime is such a lonely time. I stay up and tire myself out just so I don’t have to think about the fact that I’m alone every night.”

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