Why Optimism Is A Self-Fulfilling Prophecy

Thought Catalog

There are two types of people in this world: the people who buy lottery tickets and the ones who don’t.

Usually, if you’ve bought a ticket you probably have some degree of (irrational) hope that insists it’s your lucky day, surely you’re a scratch away from the jackpot. And even when you don’t win, which, lets admit, is often, you keep coming back because anticipation makes you happy.

We’ve all heard that having no expectations leads to having no disappointments, which would theoretically only leaves room for happiness to surprise you along the way and simultaneously prepare you for the worst. But is that really the way to go? I would much rather live with my arms outstretches prepare to give and receive than to go about life with a wall built around myself.

It’s time we rewire our train of thought. Optimism isn’t about being blind to the negative…

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I remember you
Like a distant memory
Almost like a memory from a past life
So close, yet so far.

Hahah funny bad days

Heheh. Found this and I thought it would be fun to keep updating this list to see how many “hypothetically” bad days I could possible have. Will strike out the ones that I’ve alr been through.

 

Day 1 – Starbucks spelled my name wrong on my drink.

Day 2 – My eyes hurt from looking at the sunset too hard.

Day 3 – I spilled tea on my journal.

Day 4 – I found out I was lactose intolerant right after eating my favorite mint chocolate chip ice cream.

Day 5 – I can’t find a good Instagram filter for my homemade quiche.

Day 6 – My ex changed his Netflix password so I can’t binge watch Scandal anymore.

Day 7 – Only 44 people wished me a happy birthday on Facebook.

Day 8 – My coworker said I looked tired. I slept for a full 8 hours last night.

Day 9 – Someone unfollowed me on Tumblr.

Day 10 – Last night’s rainstorm knocked down my birdhouse.

Day 11 – The moon looks so cool, but my phone can’t take a good picture of it.

Day 12 – Whole Foods ran out of quinoa.

Day 13 – I ripped the crotch of my favorite skinny jeans.

Day 14 – I’m going to yet another 1920s themed party.

Day 15 – I couldn’t tip my waiter because my tip app is broken.

Day 16 – The train left when I got onto the platform. Now I have to wait six whole minutes.

Day 17 – My friend with a philosophy degree got a job before me.

Day 18 – I snap chatted my cousin from my uncle’s funeral and my mom is so pissed at me now.

Day 19 – My favorite conservative blog wouldn’t post my “I Don’t Need Feminism” selfie.

Day 20 – This homeless person asked me for change and made me really sad on my way to Chipotle.

Day 21 – I found my Chipotle receipt and realized I had to pay extra for guacamole.

Day 22 – How will anyone know I’m a reader if all my books are on my Kindle?

Day 23 – My parents made me choose between having dessert or an appetizer.

Day 24 – The guy next door won’t let me pet his dog.

Day 25 – I went to lunch with my boss and she didn’t offer to pay for me.

Day 26 – No one retweeted my hilarious @Midnight joke.

Day 27 – Someone already has the Tumblr URL I want.

Day 28 – All my friends spoiled what happens at the purple wedding.

Day 29 – I got mud all over my shoes from the free outside concert.

Day 30 – The cookies brought to my house warming weren’t gluten-free.

Day 31 – My boyfriend tried to hold my hand. His palm was so sweaty it felt like I was holding a warm, raw chicken breast.

Day 32 – I got a sunburn from laying out on the beach.

Day 33 – I’m hungover from drinking margaritas all day at the beach.

Day 34 – I never wrote my study abroad roommate like I promised, and now I feel too awkward emailing her.

Day 35 – I told my boyfriend I wanted to see 1D and he pulled out his dick.

Day 36 – My friends won’t do a Weekend at Bernie’s Halloween costume with me.

Day 37 – I didn’t get my full security deposit back because my roommate pooped in the tub.

Day 38 – My wifi password is too long and I don’t know how to change it.

Day 39 – I don’t think True Detective is that great.

Day 40 – Community’s sixth season won’t be out ’til after Christmas.

Day 41 – I have to watch so many ads on Hulu Plus. What is my mom even paying for?

Day 42 – I have to watch porn on my iPhone because my WiFi went out.

Day 43 – I can’t charge my phone at my friend’s house because he’s poor and still has an iPhone 4.

Day 44 – Christian Grey doesn’t look a thing like I thought he would in the trailer.

Day 45 – I just found out Matt Bomer is gay.

Day 46 – When I bought my Space Jam DVD, it didn’t ring up as PRICELESS.

Day 47 – Starbucks doesn’t call their gift cards StarBUCKS.

Day 48 – I still worry that Top 8s will come back and who I will put on it.

Day 49 – I watched House of Cards and realized it wasn’t a David Blaine and Bob Saget two-man play.

Day 50 – My black friend got mad at me for saying the civil war was fought over state’s rights.

Day 51 – My DIY craft turned into DIY crap.

Day 52 – This news article is too long and not in the form of a listicle.

Day 53 – I almost lost count of the days.

Day 54 – My new apartment is on top of a hill.

Day 55 – I brought my CVS card to a Walgreens. I’m such an idiot.

Day 56 – I’ll be 26 soon and won’t be able to stay on my dad’s health insurance.

Day 57 – My mom bought me an iTunes gift card.

Day 58 – My friend got catcalled and I didn’t.

Day 59 – I really liked this one guy until I saw his political rants on Facebook.

Day 60 – It’s too humid for me to jog.

Day 61 – I can’t wear my new dress ‘cause I’ll chafe.

Day 62 – Some guy won’t stop playing the guitar at this party.

Day 63 – By the end of that party, I looked like the child of The Joker and Courtney Love.

Day 64 – My McDonald’s salad wasn’t that healthy for me.

Day 65 – I’m so hungry, but my favorite place isn’t on Seamless and I’m too awkward to order food over the phone

Day 66 – I saw the new Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles movie.

Day 67 – I liked all of my crush’s selfies. Now his girlfriend won’t stop messaging me.

Day 68 – I laughed so hard I threw up.

Day 69 – I passed out on my friend’s couch and he didn’t even care enough to draw a bunch of dicks on my face.

Day 70 – I told my dad I wanted a pet. He got me a rock and threw it through my bedroom window.

Day 71 – A bird flew into my broken window and pooped everywhere.

Day 72 – I tried selling my clothes to the thrift store. They only offered me $12.36.

Day 73 – I met a vegan.

Day 74 – My parents go out more than I do.

Day 75 – The police won’t stop persecuting Justin Bieber.

Day 76 – My friends won’t let me use the bumpers when we bowl.

Day 77 – I only just found out about cronuts.

Day 78 – I love the zoo but the caged animals make me sad.

Day 79 – I want a TV show that just follows me around while I do my everyday job.

Day 80 – Adam Sandler keeps making movies.

Day 81 – I lost my virginity in a Taco Bell parking lot.

Day 82 – We can’t do anal ‘cause I ate Taco Bell last night.

Day 83 – I can’t tell if Daniel Tosh is attractive or not.

Day 84 – My boyfriend didn’t get on American Ninja Warrior.

Day 85 – No one has nominated me to do the ice bucket challenge.

Day 86 – My film studies friend won’t film my music video.

Day 87 – So, I guess due dates for bills aren’t just suggestions.

Day 88 – I just found out Tom Daley is dating a man. Yet another one goes gay.

Day 89 – All of my friends are getting married. It’s so gross.

Day 90 – Day eight of not getting my period.

Day 91 – Well, I finally got my period. Too bad I was wearing white shorts.

Day 92 – I farted when my boyfriend was going down on me.

Day 93 – I had to delete and repost my Facebook status because no one liked it.

Day 94 – This last season of True Blood is horrible.

Day 95 – What I wake up like and what Beyonce wakes up like are two very different things.

Day 96 – No one will go to Sea World with me anymore 😦

Day 97 – My mom caught me watching porn and wouldn’t believe it was just a pop-up.

Day 98 – The towel I went to use at the gym was already wet.

Day 99 – My gay friend hates it when I call him “my gay friend.”

Day 100 – Looking back at this list shows me how hard my life is. #StruggleBus

The 6 Types Of Guy’s You’ll Date In Your 20’s

Thought Catalog

New Girl: Season 3New Girl: Season 3

1. One-Date-Wonder William:

The guy you met on Tinder. You went out for a drink and he spent most of the evening talking about how much he hates Carl from HR. You text your friend in the bathroom and request an emergency “OMG JASON BROKE UP WITH ME AND I NEED YOU NOW” phone call.

2. Hangout Harry:

This is the guy that you’re actually not dating. Or are you? You’re not sure. A title has never been put on anything, and conversations about the topic are just never brought up. You hang out during the week, are sleeping together exclusively, have watched a full season of Downtown Abbey together, yet you have NO IDEA WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON. Am I your boo-thang or am I not your boo-thang? TELL ME HARRY!

3. Serious Steven:

This is the guy who you thought you would…

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Accept The Pain That Will Help You Grow

Thought Catalog

Breathe.

Just breathe.
Take a deep breath.

Exhale and let it go.

Accept it.

The hardest decisions are often the most painful. The hardest decisions are the ones where you know that no matter what you choose, there will be pain. Oftentimes, the more painful the option is, the better it is for you long term.

If your choice is between constant torture or the pain of loss, go with loss. What you don’t realize right now, and what you will someday realize, is that choosing the constant torture will eventually lead you to the pain of loss. So why increase your pain? Why stretch it out?

Let it go.

Accept it.

Control A + Shift + Delete. Get rid of it all. Go on, live your life, and pretend it never happened. This type of loss is really best addressed by a “fake it ’til you make it” attitude.

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A Letter For Your Soul When Nothing Seems To Be Going Right… (Jessica Rose)

I need to start here: none of what happened to you was your fault. Not one single moment of it. You didn’t do anything to deserve it. You heard right: life isn’t fair.

I wish I could tell you that things are going to get better soon, and that things will never be awful for you again. But I won’t lie to you; life will be more unfair and harder for you than for most. While life may be worse for other people, it is still all right to be upset with your circumstances.

There are some things people shouldn’t have to live with. Even if you can survive something it doesn’t mean you should have to, but you can, and you will. Things are going to stay hard for a while, and I am so sorry it will take so long for you to start getting the good things. But I promise the good stuff is coming, you just have to survive.

Say it until you believe it: everything will be all right.

Listen, I still don’t have all the answers and I don’t pretend too. I don’t know if I believe in Karma or God or that the universe is listening at all to what we want. I don’t have those kinds of things figured out yet, and I am uncertain I ever will. I think it’s okay that you feel stuck and scared, and that you don’t even know how to start to change things. Because life isn’t supposed to be so hard, and it won’t always will be.

I think all your bad stuff is happening now to make room for good stuff later. Never think you are helpless and don’t believe you’re a victim. I know you choose hope over giving up and that allows for the possibility of greater things. Giving up is weak, and you may be a lot of things but that isn’t one of them. Don’t ever feel sorry for yourself, not ever. If you ever feel broken, count on the laws of conservation. Neither energy nor matter is created or destroyed. You are not helpless or irreparably damaged. The forces around you have caused you to change, but you are still whole. Also remember that action brings reaction, and when others see that you are fighting for something better they will help you.

I know you’re surviving instead of living, but do not be too sad about that. You should be nothing but proud of the way you hold your chin up when the weight of the world is on you and how you keep moving forward while everything is pushing you back. You are strong and beyond brave and smarter than you realize. I know you are sick of hearing that you are strong and that you don’t want to have to be strong. You must know that the courage you gain now will teach you to act in spite of fear every time it is required of you. That knack you have for getting calmer as a situation gets more nuclear will become something that makes you uniquely gifted for your chosen profession. You’ll be all fight and no flight. You will find the strength to run towards what others run from, and to fight for others when they cannot advocate for themselves. If ever you feel like maybe it could be someone else’s job to speak out on a stranger’s behalf, remember how you felt when no would speak out for you and find it in yourself to put them first. When you’re older, you will use all of that to truly help people. You did learn from all the bad things, just like you thought you might. More than that you forged them into good things, that’s not nothing. I know all that seems impossible right now, but I know you believe in impossible things.

If a lot of really really bad things can happen to someone, a lot of really really good things can happen too.

Keep writing. It will save you. I know how sincerely pissed off you feel all the time, and I wish I could tell you that you should let go of that. Being pissed off is what is going to make you work so hard to change things. Being so angry pushed you to be better. You were so angry at being unable to change the things surrounding you that you vowed to change things the moment you could. But when you are ready, and when things do start to get better, please do make an effort to let it go. Being angry all the time over things that are in the past just isn’t worth it. And not everyone is out to get you. I know you may have evidence that seems to point to the contrary, but I swear that there are good people out there and that you’ll find them. You’ve got to learn to stop being so angry or you’re never going to connect with people.

Do not give up the opportunity for success out of fear of failing. Yes, you’ll run into people who can be terribly cruel and treat you badly, but the good people out there deserve a chance and are worth the pain they may cause you. I know you probably don’t think so, but people really do need other people.

The reason you don’t think life will always be this hard is because you see the good in people, and in everything around you. Even when the worst surrounds you, you search for the good no matter how small it may be. Hold onto hope and faith in goodness, because the world is going to try to take that from you. But you hang on to believing in good over evil, like in the comic books you read, and you’ll find you have the opportunity to become a force for good. It doesn’t even require superpowers. Though if ambition was a superpower, I think that would be yours. You have a fire inside you that demands better things, and it will serve you well. I promise.

The iron in the blood that pumps so rhythmically through your veins formed in red giants before the idea of you or anyone you’ve ever met existed. Millions of stars erupted and detonated across the universe to create everything we know. It must have looked like complete chaos at the time, but what looked like destruction was actually growth. Every element in your body was made in the stars; you are made of star stuff, forged in fire. You were sculpted from the results of combusting scorching supernovas, and you never felt a thing. 13 billion years of space and time with infinite possibilities, and you exist.

And you have every opportunity for success and happiness as anyone and everyone else as long as you never stop believing in impossible things.

5 Reasons You Want To Sleep With Your Boyfriend’s Best Friend

Thought Catalog

Pavel L Photo and Video / (Shutterstock.com) Pavel L Photo and Video / (Shutterstock.com)

You love and adore your boyfriend, and your sex life is fabulous. Or maybe it’s not; I don’t know. But either way, it’s hard to deny that you’ve caught yourself lusting over your boyfriend’s best friend. Here are 5 reasons why.

1. He’s a total hottie.

Attractive people tend to gravitate toward other attractive people; it’s a rule of life. So it’s no surprise that your handsome boyfriend has an equally (or maybe more so) handsome best friend. Of course you’re attracted to your own man, but there’s just something about his BFF’s rugged good looks that make you want to let him pin you against a wall and hold you there with his biceps.

2. Speaking of biceps…

His are beautiful, and every time he moves in the slightest, those muscles ripple. Whether it be biceps, a cute butt, or…

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“Delete her number.

Stop ringing her. Stop messaging her. Stop making excuses to see her, to drop by her place.

Erase her name from memory. Remove yourself from her life, more completely than you would like but as completely as she deserves. Move on, so that you can allow her to also move on. When you close your eyes, you don’t get to see her face. Not anymore. You don’t get to think about her lips, the warm glow of her skin when she rests next to you, or how she squeezes your hand in her sleep. You are not allowed to remember the smell of her perfume, that she only drinks mint tea (with two dollops of honey), or that she loves you.

She loves you.

She has been in love with you for too long.

So, forget how she says your name. Forget how she calls your name. Forget how she screams your name. Forget that time you got sick and she stayed up with you all night, letting you lay your head in her lap and holding a cold compress to your forehead. Forget how her hair feels in your fingers. Forget how she looks in your sweatshirts.

Forget her.

Know only that she existed at one point in your life, but relinquish all hope that she could exist at another point — sometime in the future that you are unwilling to specify because you don’t know what you want. Yet. It is not fair for you to swoop in and out of her life as you choose. It is not fair for you to say that you are satisfied with “things as they are” and you will have time to “figure it out” later. Let her stop investing emotionally in you. Let her pour that love and care into the people who deserve her.

Don’t tell her that you think about her all the time. Don’t tell her that it bothers you to hear about her with other people, but that you’re willing to understand as long as she likes you more than them. Don’t tell her that this isn’t the right moment but that there will be a right moment. There is not going to be a right moment. She shouldn’t have to wait for the right moment.

Don’t tell her that you can’t handle ultimatums, that you don’t like the idea of finally adding finality to your relationship — whatever still remains of it.

What you are telling her is that you want to keep her on as an option, that you are taking her for granted, that you want to know she will be there, that you can depend on her at the end of the day. When you find that no one else has stuck around or that those who have are less interesting, less thoughtful, or less doggedly loyal to you.

Doggedly loyal to you.

That is what she has been to you, for you almost as long as you have known her: a constant emotional crutch, the guarantee of stability, a safety net while you reachvout to grasp objects that sparkle and shine far greater than she does. All that glitters is not gold, haven’t you heard?

She is fire. You are ice, and you are afraid that her slow burn will smolder your cool, hard demeanor. That’s what has driven your decisions, your actions all along: fear. You are a coward. You are a hypocrite. You are terrified to let her go, but you are afraid she is too good for you, that she could drive you wild, that you would choke on her flames. That she is too much for you to handle right now.

Right now.

But if you choose not to love her now, you can’t choose to love her later.”

6 Types Of Guys No Girl Should Waste Her Tears On (And The One That You Should)

Thought Catalog

Screen Shot 2014-08-13 at 12.23.00 PMThe Princess Bride

I’ll admit that most females have a tendency to be heartbroken a majority of the time. Blame it on the feminine victim mentality or whatever mumbo jumbo you want to attribute it to, but the truth is while we may spend most of our time crying, only a small portion of those dudes deserve the emotional waterfall that bare their names. Here is some tough love advice on the types you should not waste more than a moments notice over, and one that you should.

1. The guy who drops off the face of the planet. Everything was going great, and then POOF! You never hear from him again until months later, like he’s Tom Hanks in Cast Away. Why – just why are you upset about losing this communicationphobe?! Not texting is one thing, but sudden radio silence for no good reason is a red…

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5 Things No One Tells You About Moving On

Thought Catalog

Brandon Warren / flickr.comBrandon Warren / flickr.com

I wish there was a manual titled “How to Move On and Let Go.” I wish that someone compiled the lessons from Pat Benatar and Adele songs, and placed them side-by-side with old wives’ tales to create graphs charting the suggested emotional trajectory of the first three months following a breakup. Maybe these would be among the findings:

1. It hurts. Like hell.

Picture this: for years, you work steadily every single day at building a life together. Every fight at 4am is about breaking walls and pillars down, about demolishing before rebuilding. Every talk about the future is a re-affirmation of direction. The army conscription notices and university offers are mutual decisions — a farewell party on a Saturday evening instead of a weekday, planning to spend more time in London instead of New York, choosing to enroll in a womens’ college.

And then one…

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