A random thought popped in my head while at lunch today: “Who am I?” I asked myself.
If you know me well enough, you’d know that I have two twitter accounts.
I tweet stupid nonsense at @juliennekayla.
and the truth at @jmksjmks.
So I was tweeting shit (fuck my feelings) at @Juliennekayla and retweeting nonsense and all that jazz…
and when I went over to @jmksjmks and read my own(@juliennekayla) tweets, I felt like I didn’t know who I was… Like I wasn’t who I really am.. like I put up some sort of facade. It only seemed like it. If it was truly a facade, I’d know it. but to be so so sooo honest, I don’t.
I feel like I’m so many completely different persons and i’m just waiting for someone to love all the faces of me. Good, bad, happy or sad.
I’m just so lost and confused.
Then F replied me with a post, something about never being able to identify who you really are and I understood (not really), that you’ll never understand.
They say you know yourself best. and I don’t doubt that at all.
but isn’t it scary to know that the person who knows you best, is yourself? but you don’t know yourself at all?
These thoughts kill me. every time.
Though I know i’ll never know who I really am, It’s not going to stop me from trying.
I’m going to take time to try to understand myself better.