Unlovable.

Look in the mirror, and what do you see?
I see two big eyes staring at me
They look at me so brightly and I can see
There’s no one in this world as lovely as me.

I wish.

I look in the mirror – I hate what i see.
Everyday, regardless of how hard I try, my complexion gets worse.
My waist has become significantly larger.
My thighs are huge.
My arms.. let’s not even go there.
My face, it’s… not right.
My eyebrows are so angular – I always look angry.
I look like I despise the world all the time; so smile you say?
I hate it. My smile’s awful.
At least my teeth are getting better with the help of braces.
My eyes are too far apart.
My calves are muscular. but not how i’d like them to be. 
I want them skinny so i’d look good in pants.
I really don’t know what’s becoming of me. 
I’m really starting to despise myself.
I think that, maybe, this is why no one loves me.

So I look for a reason to love me…
I can’t find one.

If I can’t find a reason to love me, why would anyone else?

So this is it. I’m unlovable.
Both inner, and outer Ju – unlovable.

It feels like… I’m in a constant struggle to view myself beautiful again….
But, I’m actually getting used to this self-hatred.

And that scares me.
Help.

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