Can’t help but,

Every time I visit this site, It means that something is troubling me.

I don’t know why, but every time I come here. I get completely tongue tied (or finger tied rather). I’m supposed to be good with words – given that i’m from a media course and all…
But I’m not.

I want to express how I feel, but I feel that no one is really listening. There is no one who can listen. Maybe i’m just being petty.

That’s it. That’s it. It’s me.

I know i’ve got R. I know she’ll be there for me when I need her, but my “selflessness” won’t allow that. I don’t want to burden her.

but because of that, I go on one of those “the world hates me” “I’m so lonely” “I’ve got no one” trips. 

Sometimes when you’ve got so much in you and you just can’t lash it out on your usual confidantes… to where do you run?

I’m the death of me. I am my own weakness. The problem is within me. My demon lives inside of me.

I need to change.

Lately, I’ve been feeling that I’m not who I’m supposed to be. 

I’m changing to suit the people around me.

I want to leave… Not the world, but for a place where I can start anew and be who I was meant to me.

Make some real friends and no one else. 

I don’t know, FTS. I’m just gna hold it in and when it gets too much. I’ll see where life takes me. Bye.


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