Francesca?

As a child, I always believed I had a split personality… I named her Francesca.

I think she’s real? 

Recently, I’ve been feeling.. nothing.
I can’t be happy for long, or sad.
I feel, then I don’t.

“Yes, I’d rather hurt than feel nothing at all.”

It’s true.

I caught me talking to myself the other day…
I am being absolutely honest here when I say that I didn’t know what I was doing, but when I realised what I was doing, I was saying “I’m just going to give up”.
So i basically caught myself talking to myself… if that even makes sense.
And I’ve been playing scenes in my head over and over again…
My head is messing with me and I can’t take it.
Am I going crazy? 

In psych, I learnt more about the multiple personality disorder…
Could I have it? just not so sever?

I really don’t know whats going on, My moodswings, my zoning out, I’m becoming someone i don’t want to be… And as much as I try, I can’t go back to being who I used to be. 

Why? Why now?

 

xx, 
Ju.

 

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