Update

So… Nothing much has been going on with life.
Yes, it’s that boring.
We got to shoot Tprawks yesterday, as usual. The photos turned out like crap. But I’ll upload a few (:

Also, life’s been getting pretty lonely.
I can’t seem to find the one I’m looking for. It’s like… I don’t even want to look anymore. I just don’t know what to do.

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Yeah, Whatever.

So, It’s another  “feel sorry for myself” post,
Please excuse yourself if you only have nasty things to say (or think).

I was just in the shower just now, (As of late, I have notices that that happens to be where I do the most reflection)
and it suddenly hit me that i’m a horrible person.
I don’t know why people are friends with me…
If I were someone else, I wouldn’t be my own friend.
And that got me thinking… Do I have friends? Real friends?

Rachel, Unspoken. I love her, and she’s been there for me no matter what. I thank God so much for her.

I’m selfish.
I think so badly of others.
I really never ever try in a friendship (If you screwed it up).
I never let things slide.
I’m just.. Mean.
I wish I was nice.

Just, help me.

Don’t know where to go from here…

It’s like.. I’m that girl again,
That insecure 14 year old.

I don’t know what to do anymore.
My personality stinks, I’m no where near beautiful, I keep putting on weight and can’t care to lose anything,
I’m not even smart!
My temper is short, and so is my tolerance.

My expectations are sky high, but they told me to never go for something I have to settle for…
But, What if all I can settle for is all I can ever have?

I don’t know what to do anymore.
I’ve tried to fix me complexion, and i’m in the process of fixing my teeth.
I don’t want to fix anything else, but i’m scared i’ll do it if my ego gets any worse…
I think i need help )’:

But I’ll try to be strong for now.
Xx, Ju.